Scientists have discovered which moment becomes the "beginning of the end" of a relationship

Researchers from the University of Mainz and the University of Bern found that about a year or two before a break-up, there is a turning point in the relationship, after which dissatisfaction increases sharply.

Details: Yanina Larissa Bühler et al, Terminal decline of satisfaction in romantic relationships: Evidence from four longitudinal studies., Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2025). DOI: 10.1037/pspp0000551

Psychology professors Janina Bühler and Ulrich Orth examined data from 11,000 people in Germany, Australia, the UK and the Netherlands. In all these countries, large-scale surveys of couples over 12 to 21 years were conducted. Participants regularly rated how satisfied they were with their relationships.

The results showed that the breakdown of a relationship does not happen all at once, but goes through two separate stages. First comes the "pre-final phase," which can last several years. During this time, satisfaction gradually but steadily declines. Then comes the "tipping point" when the decline in satisfaction accelerates dramatically. From this time on, the relationship usually ends after 7-28 months.

Interestingly, partners experience this period differently. The one who decides to end the relationship begins to feel dissatisfaction much earlier. His partner, on the other hand, notices the deterioration of the situation only shortly before the breakup, when his own satisfaction drops sharply. That is why the breakup often becomes an unpleasant surprise for one of the partners.

The researchers emphasise that many couples notice the seriousness of the situation too late. Most often they seek help when the turning point has already passed and it is almost impossible to restore the relationship.

"People do not break up suddenly," explains Janina Bühler. - It is usually preceded by a long history of accumulated problems. The earlier the partners notice these signs, the higher the chance to save the relationship".

Scientists recommend not to wait until the problems become obvious. It is most effective to seek help in the pre-final phase, before the point of no return. This will help avoid many break-ups.

According to Professor Bühler, who also practices as a family therapist, knowledge of these patterns will help people recognise difficulties earlier and take steps to save the relationship while it is still possible.