Why we bite our nails and put things off

Habits like procrastination, self-criticism, perfectionism, hair pulling or avoiding socialising with people may not be linked to "weak will" but to ancient survival mechanisms. This is the conclusion reached by clinical psychologist Charlie Heriot-Maitland in his new book Controlled Explosions in Mental Health, published by Taylor & Francis.

According to the specialist, the human brain originally evolved not for happiness, but for survival. Its main task is to minimise threats and avoid surprises, even if to do so you have to cause yourself a small but "controlled" harm.

Self-sabotage as a defence strategy of the brain

Heriot-Maitland explains that the brain favours a predictable and manageable threat over an unknown risk. This is why a person may:

• postpone an important project to avoid possible failure;

• avoid socialising to avoid facing rejection;

• criticise themselves in advance to "prepare" for external criticism.

"The brain would rather make us the source of our own discomfort than allow ourselves to be caught off guard by an external threat," notes the psychologist.

What forms of self-sabotage are most common

Among the most common forms of self-sabotaging behaviour, experts highlight:

• procrastination;

• perfectionism;

• chronic pessimism;

• compulsive self-criticism;

• avoidance of social contacts.

Perfectionism, according to the author, is often disguised as a desire for quality, but in fact serves as a way to reduce the risk of error and protect oneself from failure - at the cost of burnout and anxiety.

Why bad habits take hold

The problem is that such strategies turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy over time. If a person is convinced that "they're not going to succeed anyway," they put in less effort - and actually get worse results.

Similarly, avoiding people for fear of being rejected can rob a person of the opportunity to build real relationships.

How to get out of the circle of self-sabotage

The psychologist emphasises: it is useless to fight such habits with force. Much more effective - to understand their protective function and work with the root cause.

According to him, self-sabotage is a "controlled explosion", which is often behind:

• a history of trauma,

• chronic stress,

• an unmet basic need for safety or acceptance.

Effective therapy, Heriot-Maitland notes, involves creating a sense of safety, living with the loss, and developing self-compassion - not reinforcing self-criticism.

Key takeaway

The path to change is not through blaming oneself, but through mindfulness and patience. Understanding the evolutionary causes of self-sabotage allows you to stop seeing such habits as a 'personal defect' and begin to change behaviour without pressure or shame.