Psychologists have figured out why we're suddenly repelled by potential mates

They believe that this phenomenon may be deeper than just annoyance over an unfortunate outfit or strange habit.

A brief look at the concept of the ick

The term "the ick" originated back in the late 1990s after being mentioned in the TV series Ally McBeal. Today it is commonly used to refer to a sudden feeling of rejection towards a person with whom everything seemed to be going normally, but at one point something in their behaviour (or appearance) begins to repel. This can be the "last straw" in a relationship, when a flaw, however small, suddenly seems insurmountable.

What psychologists have studied

The authors of the paper - Brian Collisson, Eliana Saunders and Chloe Yin (Brian Collisson, Eliana Saunders, Chloe Yin) - published a paper in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (2025). They hypothesised that the "yik" may be related to instinctive mechanisms that protect a person from potentially unsafe situations. For example, if a partner eats food that has been in the fridge for a long time, it may trigger a subconscious fear that such a person will risk the health of future children or compromise their safety.

Experiment: TicToc and surveys

Researchers gathered a group of 125 adult volunteers who had already experienced "ick" in a relationship. They were asked to watch TikTok videos of people exhibiting different habits or behaviours. Participants recorded moments when they experienced sudden rejection.

• Women were more likely to note past occurrences of "ick" and reacted more strongly to triggers.
• Disgust sensitivity and a tendency toward perfectionism are factors that reinforce the "ick" effect. People who are generally more squeamish reacted more frequently and vividly to these situations.
• Narcissism also correlates with the tendency to experience "ick": narcissists are stronger at seeing others' "flaws" and quicker to judge them.

What this means

The authors conclude that the "hic" may be a kind of psychological tool that helps to quickly (though sometimes unnecessarily harshly) put a "sieve" on potential partners. At heart, it is linked to instincts that help avoid unsafe or undesirable situations for oneself or offspring.

However, excessive "sensitivity" to other people's minor missteps leads to a high threshold of people dropping out, which can interfere with the formation of long-term relationships. Simply put, "hic" is sometimes useful, but can be overly categorical and fails to recognise that real relationships are more complex than a single action (however unpleasant).

Psychologists see the sudden feeling of disgust as part of the underlying mechanisms of mate selection. It's a "red flag" that says, "Something's not right here." But if you rely on instant emotions alone, you could be missing out on a potentially good relationship.

Source: Collisson B., Saunders E., Yin C. "The ick: Disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism in mate choice thresholds", Personality and Individual Differences (2025). DOI: 10.1016/j.paid.2025.113086