One child is not a problem: scientists debunk a major myth about families without siblings

One-child families have long ceased to be rare, but there are still many stereotypes surrounding them. Parents are often asked when they will have a second child, as if having another child is a must.

Yet around 45 per cent of families in the UK, where the research was conducted, are now raising just one child, and this proportion continues to rise.

During the work on the book about one-child families, the researchersinterviewed more than 3,000 parents to understand why they made such a decision. The results showed that there are dozens of reasons, and most of them are deeply personal.

A conscious choice - and a forced decision

For some parents, one child is a conscious and comfortable option. They value the balance between work, personal life and parenthood, they want to preserve their usual way of life or consciously limit the size of the family for environmental reasons. Sometimes their own experiences - difficult or traumatic relationships with siblings in childhood - influence the decision.

But for many families, the choice was not voluntary. Some parents would have liked to have more children, but circumstances were different. Some of the most common reasons include difficulty conceiving, miscarriage, loss of an infant or loss of a partner. In such cases, the only child becomes an only child not by choice but by fate.

Other parents have experienced a difficult pregnancy or traumatic birth and are not ready to go through the physical and psychological ordeal again. Financial factors also play a significant role: the high cost of housing, kindergartens, unstable employment and rising living expenses make families refuse to have a second child.

The emotional cost of parenthood

Many mothers described a difficult postnatal period - chronic sleep deprivation, feeding problems, loneliness and postnatal depression. In some families, the desire to have another child did not coincide between partners or led to serious conflicts due to different approaches to parenting.

An additional stress becomes the need to constantly explain and justify their choice to relatives, friends and even strangers. Particularly painful are the claims that a child without siblings is supposedly doomed to loneliness, selfishness or social difficulties.

Myths about "only children in the family" are not supported by science

Research shows: the notions that children without siblings grow up to be spoilt, selfish or incapable of friendship have no scientific basis. Early work that found differences was often methodologically weak or conducted under conditions of strong social pressure on single-child families.

Current evidence demonstrates: there are no significant differences in social skills between children with and without siblings. They are no less happy, no more narcissistic, and no worse adjusted to life. While these children may indeed spend more time alone, that doesn't mean they feel lonely - which is a fundamentally different thing.

What's more, studies document small advantages in children without siblings in self-esteem, emotional stability, and life satisfaction. There are also higher rates of creativity, curiosity, leadership skills and achievement motivation.

What really shapes childhood

A child's development depends on many factors - family atmosphere, genetics, quality of relationships with adults and peers. The absence of a brother or sister is often compensated for by other opportunities: closer contact with parents and grandparents, more time for hobbies, friendships and personal interests.

A child's life without siblings may look different, but that doesn't make it worse. The differences between children themselves are far more significant than the mere fact of having or not having siblings.

Parental neglect and the illusion of 'sibling support'

One frequent fear remains about the future: whether children without siblings will be able to cope with caring for elderly parents. However, research shows that even in large families, adult children often shift responsibility to each other.

Moreover, having a sibling does not guarantee a close relationship. Conflicts, rivalry and even bullying between children in a family are associated with an increased risk of depression and self-harming behaviour. When people say they would like to have more siblings, they most often mean supportive and warm relationships - which is not a necessary outcome.

Stereotypes live longer than facts

Surveys show: society still tends to attribute selfishness and narcissism to children without siblings. However, when these beliefs are tested empirically, no differences in levels of narcissism are found.

This is a prime example of how persistent stereotypes persist despite the lack of evidence. And it is these stereotypes that cause harm - to families, parents and children.

Modern families come in many forms. Rather than measuring them by the number of children, researchers call for a focus on how to create an environment in which every child - regardless of family structure - feels loved, protected and socially included.