A parent is nearby, but on the phone: what does this mean for a teenager?

Psychologists surveyed 600 teenagers aged 12–17 in the US and found that those who more frequently noticed their parents being distracted by their phones whilst talking to them were more likely to report signs of insecure attachment.

The study has been published in *Frontiers in Psychology*.

Important: the study does not prove that parents’ smartphones in themselves ‘spoil’ relationships. It shows a link between how teenagers perceive adults’ behaviour with their gadgets and how secure they feel in their relationship with their parents.

Details

The authors investigated what is known as ‘device interference in attachment’. Put simply, the teenagers were asked whether their parents’ phones interfered with their parents’ attention, availability and normal communication.

For example, a teenager might be trying to say something, ask a question or seek support, whilst their parent is looking at their phone at that very moment. If this happens frequently, the child may start to feel: ‘I’m less important than the screen right now’.

In the study, this was linked to two types of insecure attachment.

The first type is anxious attachment. The teenager is more afraid of being rejected, ignored or abandoned. They need reassurance more often: ‘I am important’, ‘I am loved’, ‘I am being noticed’.

The second type is avoidant attachment. The teenager, on the other hand, may withdraw, ask for less support and pretend that they don’t need anyone. This may be a way of avoiding disappointment.

The more teenagers rated the interference of gadgets in their communication with their parents, the higher their scores were for both anxious and avoidant attachment.

What this means in simple terms

The problem isn’t that parents use their phones at all. Smartphones are needed for work, communication, news, documents, payments, navigation and everyday tasks.

The problem arises when a teenager repeatedly feels that an adult is seemingly nearby but is actually unavailable. They don’t look up, don’t reply, don’t hear the first time, or get irritated when distracted from their screen.

The authors of the study aren’t saying that parents are obliged to drop everything every time their child tries to get their attention. But they suggest at least responding briefly to such attempts to make contact: showing that you’ve noticed your teenager, and returning to the conversation when possible.

A simple example: you don’t necessarily have to put your work chat on hold straight away. But you could say: ‘I can see you want to talk. Give me two minutes, and I’ll listen to you carefully.’ For a teenager, this is no longer complete disregard.

Why this is important

Adolescence is a time when a person gradually becomes more independent from their parents, but still needs to feel a sense of secure connection. It’s important for them to know that an adult is available when they really need them.

If a teenager regularly feels they are competing with a mobile phone for attention, this can increase their anxiety or, conversely, reinforce a habit of emotionally distancing themselves.

That said, it would be wrong to blame gadgets alone. There are many factors at play in family relationships: stress, parents’ work, conflicts, the teenager’s temperament, past experiences, and the overall quality of communication. Therefore, the study should be read not as a verdict, but as a warning: adults’ own screen behaviour matters too.

Background

A similar topic has been under investigation for several years. In the scientific literature, terms such as ‘parental technology use’ and ‘technoference’ are used to describe situations where technology interferes with face-to-face communication.

For example, a systematic review and meta-analysis in *JAMA Pediatrics* previously showed that parents’ use of technology in the presence of young children is associated with poorer outcomes across a range of areas, including attachment, behaviour and social development. This is not the same study nor the same age group, but it demonstrates that the issue of parental screen time is being explored more widely.

The new study is significant in that it focuses specifically on teenagers. This is an age often described as ‘independent’, yet parents’ emotional availability remains crucial.

Source

Study: “Mummy, Do You Love Your Phone More Than Me?”: Parental Device Use and the Adolescent-Caregiver Attachment Bond, Frontiers in Psychology, 2026.