When a parent dies: how sibling roles change
Older sons are more likely to take on financial support, while older daughters are more likely to take on caring and nurturing responsibilities: a new study from the University of Copenhagen has revealed how adult children in Korea divide up responsibilities for helping their parents at different stages of widowhood
The paper entitled "Sibling Dynamics in Adult Children's Support Across Parental Widowhood Phases in Korea" was led by Mengni Chen, Associate Professor at the University of Copenhagen, and co-authored with Dahye Kim of Hong Kong Baptist University. The paper was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.
The researchers analysed data on 676 Korean families with a total of 2,351 adult children. The researchers tracked how children's involvement in helping their parents changes when one spouse dies: who increases support, who decreases it, and at what stage.
According to Manny Chen, it's not just about gender:
support is determined by a combination of birth order, the distribution of roles among siblings, and the specific period of widowhood.
Peak support - and subsequent decline
The analyses showed consistent patterns. In the initial phase of widowhood, it is the oldest sons who increase financial support to the surviving parent the most. After a few years, however, their contribution declines markedly.
The older daughters, on the other hand, assume the main responsibility for caring for the seriously ill parent in the terminal phase of life. Younger sons, meanwhile, are the least involved in both caring for the dying parent and moving in with the surviving parent to live together.
"Older sons tend to be included primarily with money and older daughters with actual caregiving. But both of these roles are temporary in nature," explains Manny Chen.
The study also found that the overall level of support from children rises sharply immediately after the death of a parent, but then declines significantly in the later stages of widowhood. According to the authors, this is a signal for action at the level of social policy and family practices.
Manny Chen emphasises that it is important to strive for a more equal distribution of care responsibilities among all family members - regardless of gender and birth order - and to increase access to professional palliative and nursing care. This can reduce the growing burden of caring for older people.
A shift in cultural norms?
The findings question Korea's traditional patriarchal attitudes, where sons have historically been favoured.
"It is noteworthy that daughters - especially older daughters - play a key role in the most critical phases. This may indicate a broader cultural shift from favouring sons to valuing daughters more," the researcher notes.