Seven questions about love: a new test can help assess the health of a relationship
On the eve of Valentine's Day, scientists from Stockholm University presented a new method of quickly determining the level of satisfaction in a couple.
A study published in the journal Cognitive Behaviour Therapy describes the creation and validation of the Valentine's Scale, a tool that allows you to understand in minutes how well your romantic relationship is going.
Why Valentine's Scale?
Romantic relationships are considered a key factor in psychological well-being. They can improve quality of life and reduce the risk of developing mental health problems. However, affordable and reliable tests that can be carried out quickly in the home or in couples therapy sessions have been virtually non-existent in the past. The new methodology, according to psychology professor Per Carlbring, fills this gap.
"Our scale provides a quick insight into the state of the relationship without the need for extensive interviews or lengthy questionnaires. What's more, it can also be used in couples counselling to monitor dynamics," explains the scientist.
How does the methodology work?
"The Valentine Scale consists of seven questions that address fundamental aspects of romantic connection:
- Emotional intimacy
- Trust
- Conflict resolution
- (and other important parameters)
After participants answer each item, the system assesses their level of satisfaction with the relationship. The final results are supplemented with specific recommendations and exercises to help improve rapport and strengthen communication.
Scientific basis and validity
To evaluate the scale's effectiveness, two large studies were conducted with more than 1,300 volunteers. Scientists compared the Valentine Scale scores with other established methods such as the Dyadic Adjustment Scale and Quality of Dyadic Relationships. The results confirmed that the new system has high reliability and accuracy, and is easier to administer than the more extensive tests.
"A quick assessment of relationships can help spot a problem in time and take action, reducing the risk of anxiety and depression. It is precisely a preventive tool," emphasises Karlbring.
What the result means and how to work with it
The researchers emphasise that the Valentine Scale is not intended to predict a couple's future with absolute accuracy. Its purpose is to be a starting point for discussion and the possibility of growth. If the numbers seem alarming, it's worth looking into the underlying causes. Perhaps it's stress, communication errors or external circumstances. Reflecting together can help you find solutions, from improving the atmosphere in the couple to seeking professional help.
"Take the test as a symbolic step towards each other on Valentine's Day, but do not forget that your real actions and dialogue are important," remind the authors of the work.
Practical benefits
- Simplified diagnosis: just 7 questions for a basic assessment.
- Open accessibility: unlike some analogues, you can take it for free and without special requirements.
- Mental health support: early detection of problems in a couple can prevent more serious consequences.
Thus, the "Valentine Scale" offers a scientifically based way to spot "weak signals" in time and start timely adjustment of relationships. It is not a ready-made recipe for happiness, but a useful tool that can make Valentine's Day (and not only) more conscious and harmonious for both partners.
Valentine's Scale questions
How well do my partner and I know how to co-operate and solve household problems?
- Always
- Often
- Rarely
- Never
Do I feel I can confide in my partner about my experiences?
- Always
- Often
- Rarely
- Never
When my partner and I fight or disagree, do I move quickly away from the conflict?
- Always
- Often
- Rarely
- Never
How often recently have I thought our relationship was not going well?
- Constantly
- Often
- Rarely
- Never
How often recently have I thought about breaking up?
- Constantly
- Often
- Rarely
- Never
How emotionally close do I feel to our partner?
- Very close
- More or less close
- Little closeness
- No closeness
Overall, how satisfied am I with our relationship?
- Very satisfied
- Rather satisfied
- Rather dissatisfied(s)
- Not at all satisfied
How to work with the results
Once you have answered all the questions, you will receive prompts or exercises to help you look at your relationship from a different perspective, reinforce the positive aspects and, if possible, eliminate problem areas. However, don't take the test results as a predetermined judgement - every couple is unique and the answers are only a guide for discussion. If the Valentine Scale indicates possible difficulties and you feel that more help is needed, it may make sense to consider counselling with a marriage and family therapist or other professional.
Open access and scientific validity
A study on the Valentine Scale has been published in the scientific journal Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and confirms its high reliability. According to one of the authors, Professor Per Carlbring from Stockholm University, the tool gives the opportunity to get an idea of the state of the relationship in just a few minutes and, if necessary, to take timely measures to strengthen mutual understanding.
Important: This methodology is openly available; you can freely download the materials in Russian, English or Icelandic. For questions and comments contact:
- Prof Per Carlbring (Per Carlbring)
Department of Psychology, Stockholm University
Email: per.carlbring@psychology.su.se
Tel: +46 (0)70-666-7-666
Ultimately, the Valentine Scale is a simple and scientifically valid way to get to know each other better and to make relationships more open and supportive.
Research reference: Jón Ingi Hlynsson et al, "To be or not to be satisfied in your romantic relationship: assessing the reliability and validity of the Valentine scale", Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (2025). DOI: 10.1080/16506073.2024.2420655