How not to talk to children about money

Each of these phrases in adult life can become a limiting factor that will prevent a child from being financially successful. This is discussed in the material of Socialportal.

Let's consider the most common erroneous phrases that should NOT be said to children and in front of children.

PHRASE #1: "Money is an adult matter. Grow up, then we'll talk!".

At a certain point, the child begins to wonder about money: where it comes from, what is its role in our lives. You should not avoid talking about money, and even more so to tell the child that it is too early to know about them.

As soon as the child begins to show interest by asking questions, parents should be sure to answer these questions, taking into account the age of the child.

At preschool age, a great way to explain complex financial topics to children is to play games in which the characters live out all the economic roles of family members: going to work, going to the shop, counting coins or toy paper money.

PHRASE #2: "We're not as rich as Kovalenko..."

Children will understand such a phrase literally. In this way we transmit to the child a negative programme for life: "I will never become rich/that I am not like them (neighbours/relatives/parents of a classmate, I am worse".

Such a phrase forms in the child a specific perception of the world, in which there are rich Kovalenko, and he (his family) are poor.

Think together with your child what you and your family can do to increase your income, to save money for necessary purchases.

Discuss with your child that from childhood it is important for every person to study his or her strengths and talents and develop them, using them in the future to achieve financial well-being.

PHRASE #3: "Big money is not for us. We are simple people...".

With this phrase, we cut off our own opportunities not only to increase our income, but also to see opportunities to improve our well-being. A child, having heard phrases of this type, will grow up an insecure person, will not set himself ambitious goals, considering them unrealistic for himself. It is better to explain to the child that everyone can increase their fortune. In the modern world, everything, or at least a lot, depends on us: our desires, the ability to look for and see opportunities, our courage in achieving financial goals.

PHRASE #4. "I work from morning till night for you..... 24 hours a day! I deny myself everything so that you can have everything...".

This phrase actually hides the problems of the parents themselves, who feel guilty for the fact that because of excessive workload do not communicate much with their own children. By saying such phrases, mum and dad subconsciously shift the sense of guilt from their adult shoulders to the shoulders of their children.

The son or daughter grows up with a sense of guilt from childhood that he/she is so "precious" to his/her parents. Because of him/her, the parents suffer. If it wasn't for him/her, mum and dad would have a wonderful and happy life. So, when telling how hard you work, don't confront your children with this situation. Rather, discuss with them how you can free up time to be with them more.

PHRASE #5. "You'll do well in school/help your parents with chores, we'll pay you money."

Whether or not to pay for grades and homework is debatable. In my opinion, it is not worth it. It is important that the child understands from an early age that he/she studies not for someone else or for your financial reward, but for his/her own sake, for his/her future.

Also from childhood it is necessary to introduce the child to the fulfilment of household duties. All family members live together, have a common household. The child, as well as each member of the family, as well should make a contribution to the family building. And to do it not because his parents pay him, but because it is a normal partnership in the family.

PHRASE #6. "You'll still have time to work hard when you grow up. Rest, baby, while we're around.".

Parents often feel that the child is too young to start earning money or helping relatives with household chores. And the child grows up without ever learning the basic skills of running a household, managing personal finances, financially supporting their life and making financial decisions.

We not only take away the child's right to become independent, but also form a wrong negative attitude to labour. Yes, work takes time and effort, sometimes at certain times it can be difficult and routine. However, labour gives both material and creative opportunities, allows us to realise ourselves and feel needed by the world.

PHRASE #7 "We have no money.".

If we repeat this phrase often, instead of explaining to the child why this or that purchase should not be made or that now you do not have such an opportunity, you will form in the child a non-initiative position on the formation of income in his adult life.

Constantly reminding that there is no money, parents thus accustom him to live without money and without searching for opportunities to get it. In addition, children form an image of parents who are unable to take care of their children and a feeling of poverty and futility of their life.

Therefore, motivate your child to focus on the solution rather than the problem. Yes, there may not be money for the thing you need today, however, you can discuss with your child options on how to increase the family income. Not necessarily in detail, but the child should see that even in the most difficult financial situations, parents do not put their hands down, but look for options to get out of difficulties.

Parents also have the right not to buy a certain thing for the child, if they consider it harmful, inappropriate or a luxury item. In such a situation, it is necessary not just to state the fact that there is no money, but to explain why you will not buy a certain thing for your child.