"I just took these things, hugged them, went to bed and cried" - stories of widows of Ukrainian soldiers

Three stories - Yulia, Tatyana and Anna - of pain, love and recovery are told about them by Ukrainska Pravda.

The heroines of the publication are connected by common experience and support they found in each other within the framework of the KEMP+ programme - a safe space for families of the military and the fallen, where you can get psychological help, find people with similar fate and make the first steps towards inner recovery.

Khmarinka

The sky is preparing for a summer downpour. On the street is Denis, he is 8 years old. He talks about superheroes, throwing a wand in the air, and talks about his wishes simply and precisely. "I live with my mum and my little sister. And no dad," he says. When asked what he would like to be, he replies: "An angel. I would be invisible. To sit on a cloud high up and watch people."

Denis's mum is Yulia. Her family is from Bila Tserkva. Yulia has two children: Denis and five-year-old Solomiya. Yulia's husband Andrei died on 31 January 2024 in the battles near Ugledar. Yulia recalls how her husband fought in the war, received a contusion, was in rehabilitation and she already hoped that all the horror for her family has already left behind. But suddenly Andrei announced that he would return to the front because he couldn't do otherwise.

"Everything went cold inside me, but all that was left was to accept it," Yulia recalls.

When Andrei returned to the front, the days dragged on, Yulia wouldn't let go of the phone: "You don't let the phone out of your hands. You are afraid to miss a call."

After the death of her spouse, Yulia tries to be strong for the sake of her children. Straw asked: "Mum, aren't you going to die?" and it became a test and a commitment for her.

Yulia recalls how the family received the belongings of the deceased Andrei and how she did not dare to open his rucksack for a long time. And then the children persuaded her, she opened it - all the things retained his smell. "I just took these things, hugged, went to bed and cried," says Yulia.

She did not like the first online counselling sessions with a psychologist after the loss - it felt formal. But the KEMP+ programme opened up a different experience: KEMP+ is three weeks in a safe environment that helps to gradually restore inner balance... They take you by the hand and say: "Live. Be happy for your own sake, for the sake of your children".

Tatiana and Sofia

Tatyana came to CAMP with no particular expectations. Her husband Yaroslav, nicknamed "Wise," had died. Before he died, he came from the front for a few days, as he felt, he said goodbye to everyone. He asked his parents not to leave his wife, Tanya. She recalls that Yaroslav changed beyond recognition - he came from the front grey as an old man, and he was only 30 years old.

Tatyana's real support after the death of her husband was her daughter, 11-year-old Sofiyka.

Tatiana herself is a volunteer, she delivered aid to the military and still receives support from her husband's brothers: "They became my friends. They used to call me every day, talk to me." After her husband's death, Tetyana tried to drown her grief in alcohol, but managed to stop: "I looked at myself in the mirror and did not recognise that woman. I can't go on like this.

On the KEMP programme she learned to accept weakness, to allow herself to be vulnerable: "I allowed myself to be not a strong mother and not only a heroine. I absorb everything that is said here like a sponge." Sofia helped the babies, also children of fallen warriors, and participating in classes and socialising with other families was part of the healing process.

Anna and Darinka

Anna is a journalist and mother of six-year-old Darinka. Her family life is closely tied to the army: her husband is serving and the family has experienced many losses. Anna has experienced a miscarriage, the death of loved ones and the death of her nephew Nikolai, whose body remained in occupied territory. This left deep trauma, a constant worry for the child.

Anna admits that her Darinka was very close to the deceased Nikolai. The family is taking the loss hard.

At first the invitation to KEMP+ seemed unnecessary to Anna, but then she went for her daughter's sake: "Darinka is very vulnerable and sensitive. Here she has become more independent. I'm learning to let her go." Camp psychologists helped Anna to make a decision to change her profession - she left the editorial office and started a new stage of her life.

The KEMP programme is also a therapy, a place where families find understanding and support.