Advice from antiquity about finding sexual partners is still relevant today

Modern people discuss the complexities of dating and marriage, but as ancient texts show, most of these problems have long been known to mankind. Ancient Greeks and Romans also experienced unrequited love, difficulties in choosing a partner and even conflicts with rivals, writes The Conversation.

The authors of ancient treatises left many practical recommendations, and some of them are still surprisingly relevant today.

The Roman poet Ovid, in his famous work The Art of Love (Ars Amatoria), gives practical advice to those in search. He writes:

"Love will not fall to you from the sky - it must be sought."

In his opinion, suitable places for dating are gardens, theatres, porticos... and even courtrooms. However, at night, especially under the influence of alcohol, a partner may not be who they say they are.

"You cannot see the face in the dim light," Ovid warns, "perhaps it is far from being so attractive.

He advises choosing lovers by day and being careful:

"You should not rely on nocturnal encounters, especially if you are drunk."

Ovid does not limit himself to philosophy: appearance is a key factor. The author calls for cleanliness, neatness and attention to detail:

"Don't let your nails grow back and be dirty. Remove nose hair. Keep your breath fresh."

He also recommends keeping clothes clean and hair neat.

In ancient times, the help of matchmakers was often resorted to, but their reliability was questionable. The Athenian philosopher Xenophontes noted:

"People often fell victim to deceit in the matchmaking process."

As today, attempts to find the perfect mate through intermediaries could end in disappointment.

Love was seen not only as a personal feeling, but also as a social value. The Roman writer Claudius Aelianus claimed that soldiers in love were braver on the battlefield:

"A man who has not experienced love is no match for one who loves. He who is not in love runs away from a duel with the one in love like a stranger ignorant of the mystery of love."

He also wrote that the Spartans fined men who did not fall in love despite their good appearance and personal qualities - it was believed that love inspired virtue and self-development.

Even if it was possible to find mutual love, it was not easy to keep it. There were cases of rivalry and even fights. The orator Cicero wrote that the Roman tribune Gaius Memmius bit his love rival's hand during an argument about a girl.

At times, lavish feasts were thrown to impress the lover. The poet Alexis described a young man who showed off his wealth to impress his lover - otherwise the engagement might break down.

But the Roman poet Marcial, after parting, did not hold back in expressions:

"Mannea, your dog licks your lips. No wonder - after all, dogs like to eat shit".

Discussions about the pros and cons of marriage took place in antiquity. In Menander's play The Girl with the Flute, the hero says:

"If you have any sense at all, don't get married. I myself am married - that's why I advise it."

The poet Pindar regretted not starting an affair with young Theoxenus:

"I should have plucked the flowers of love while I was young. Now, looking into the shining eyes of Theoxenus, whoever is not seized by passion has a heart of cold steel."

The authors believe that many of the love dilemmas of antiquity are still relevant today. Regardless of the era, people strive for love, face rejection, search for the right partner, and sometimes make the wrong choice.